🧨 I hate to remind anyone of this — I value my quiet time — but today begins the period during which residents are allowed to light fireworks to celebrate Fourth of July, irritate their neighbors, and frighten nearby pets. The window closes at 11:59 p.m. on July 4. This is the only period fireworks are legally OK.
Only “safe and sane” fireworks are allowed. Gone are the days when, let’s say, someone I used to know and definitely not a younger, more reckless version of myself, could order rockets and other potent boom-makers from the back pages of Soldier of Fortune magazine and rock this town.
Aerial fireworks, Roman candles, firecrackers that spin or bounce and can’t be controlled, and “anything made of highly combustible materials” are all prohibited. (Note to the folks down the street: This means you.)
Fines: Under the lamely titled “You Light It, We Write It” program, you can be ticketed for amounts ranging from $500 up to $10,000 depending on what fireworks you have and where (hint: public land) you use them.
Don’t call 911 or 311 to report the use of illegal fireworks. Instead, go to ISpyFireworks.com and fill out the online form. July 4 is typically one of the busiest nights for cops and firefighters, and overuse of those phone numbers only complicates their jobs.